BIBLE PICTURES written by Gary Minkler and Bill Bagley
Long ago Man grew on the tree CHORUS Uh Huh!
the monkey swung
the birdies sang
The buzzing bees
When man got ripe
he dropped from the tree CHORUS Halleluia!
the Lion roared
the howling hound CHORUS Amen!
When man got ripe he dropped from the tree
and he danced on the ground
MINISTER/CHORUS The sun the moon
The stars up above
MINISTER When man got ripe he dropped from the tree and --
MINISTER/CHORUS There he was.
MINISTER
The serpent hissed
the soil steamed CHORUS Uh huh!
The snake recoiled, Insects boiled
The Devil’s gleam
And Dad was mad when Man went bad CHORUS Halleluia!
The Lion roared
the Howling hound CHORUS Amen!
When man got ripe he dropped from the tree
and he stomped on the ground
MINISTER/CHORUS The sun the moon
The stars up above
MINISTER When man got ripe he dropped from the tree and --
MINISTER/CHORUS There he was.

Dance/Instrumental
MINISTER
Now like ants swarm
He who walks on two CHORUS Yeah!
Spreads out his maps
His fingers tap
The Devil’s tattoo
Now lifebows beat
Where Man hath trod CHORUS Praise the Lord
The lion roared
The howling hound CHORUS Testmonial!
When man got ripe
He dropped from from the tree
And he stomped them down! CHORUS He stomped them down
He stomped them down CHORUS He stomped them down
MINISTER/CHORUS
He stomped them down
He stomped them down
He stomped/He stomped
Them down/Them down
He stomped/He stomped
Them down/Them down
He stomped them down
He stomped them down
He stomped/He stomped
Them down!
SONG ENDS
MINISTER
Good people thank you for coming today
What with the apocalypse just a few years away
a few moments right now for a soul full today
doesn't seem like such a high price to pay
Now does it?
CHORUS No!
MINISTER So let's not dilly dally and let's not stray,Let's get right to it. Let's pray.
(a woodblock taps off a series
of ticks and we hear a bell ding)
MINISTER Good!
(quickly with a beat)
Now read with me the words of the day, Let's do it
now get it out of the way, you'll find in the
hymn-book on the flipside of the handout, In the middle of the leaflet verse 2 page 3 are you
ready? Good! say it with me...
(Mumblings from the congregation for about 5 seconds)
MINISTER
Good!
Now as we all know...

This ain't no sunshine funtime factory
Toys and playland, puppies and fun
It's a haunted house
of demonic obsession with the torture and pain of insane confession
ALL It’s a haunted house of demonic obsession with the torture and pain of insane confession
MINISTER The glory of His name is all you got left
ALL AMEN!
MINISTER AMEN. I see that one of the flock has not offered anything unto him. As you well
know HIS birthday is arrived and as you also know we celebrate by offering small tokens of
ourselves to him. So my question for you today is---What is that? I hear a ticking, ...a
ticking.... An unfamiliar sound.
(she comes down from the lectern and wanders the crowd)
MINISTER Who could it be making such a special, unusual sound?
(She stops and stares at LITTLE BOY.)
MINISTER Boy! What is that sound?
LITTLE BOY I don't know...
We hear ticking getting louder...
MINISTER What is that noise?
(Little boy holds up clock)
LITTLE BOY You mean this?
General gasps of horror from the chorus
MINISTER That is precisely what I mean. Give it to me!
LITTLE BOY Uh...my mom gave me this so I’d know when she was coming back....
MINISTER Little boy...His patience is unlimited... Mine on the other hand is wearing thin...
Put it in the offering bowl.
LITTLE BOY NO! I CAN'T!
MINISTER Boy! Do you accept him into your heart. Boy
LITTLE BOY Who!?
MINISTER Have you heard his message?
LITTLE BOY Who's message?....
MINISTER His!
LITTLE BOY His who?
MINISTER Then will you willingly offer up your eternal soul unto him?
To him in his name?
LITTLE BOY Whose name?
MINISTER People! Bring out the tub of sacred water!
LITTLE BOY A church in Hell?
MINISTER The Church does not let little things get in it's way!
LITTLE BOY But, Isn't it a little too late?
MINISTER It's never too late to give over your eternal soul!
They struggle over the clock
LITTLE BOY I've got more important things to do right now.
MINISTER
More important than salvation!
I hardly think so!
People sometimes the word is not easily heard.
Sometimes we must speak loudly! Forcefully!
I believe this boy’s soul could be put to a better use!
The congregation lifts the boy high and on each “saved” is dunked deep into the barrel of holy
water.
You are saved!
LITTLE BOY But I don’t want to be saved!
MINISTER You are saved!
LITTLE BOY But I don't want to be saved! - -[dunk]
MINISTER Into the water!
LITTLE BOY Help!
MINISTER You are saved!
LITTLE BOY I don't want to be saved!
The scene becomes more and more wild. Enter Officer Friendly with her two hellhounds. The
congregation scatters into hiding.
NURSE FRIENDLY What's the trouble here?
MINISTER No Trouble Just a friendly service
FRIENDLY Friendly?. . .Doesn't seem friendly . . .I do believe there's trouble here. This boy,
I'm afraid isn't quite gettin' the introduction t
hat's planned for him. So you don't suppose there
might be some chance that I could please, beggin' your pardon, and sorry for the interruption
, take him to the uh . . . might I say. . . proper authorities?
She grabs the clock. Minister grabs the clock back..
MINISTER: I must protest! This here's church business and this boys got sanctuary!
Friendly grabs the clock back from her.
FRIENDLY Listen! Preacher! I'm gettin' mighty tired of you Bad Book Thumpers. Solicitin,
beggin' Stealin! You can’t take things that don’t belong to you. Ya' Bunch of freaks! I'm barely
hold’n' myself back from teachin' you a real sec-u-lar lesson!
LITTLE BOY grabs the clock
LITTLE BOY Gimme that back!
Friendly grabs LITTLE BOY and the CLOCK in one gesture.
FRIENDLY Let's go Boy . . . I'm takin you in!
LITTLE BOY Where's in, Sir?
FIENDLY Well in’s not out. That's for sure. In’s with the crooks, thieves, lawbreakers. The
messer’s up of the natural order of things
LITTLE BOY But officer, I didn’t do anything wrong.
FRIENDLY I do believe you did do something wrong. I do believe you have in your
possession an illegal object. Am I right?
LITTLE BOY I guess so...Do I have to go to jail?.Can I keep my clock?
FRIENDLY Of course you can. It’s yours isn’t it. If I didn’t give it back that’d be stealin’
wouldn’t it? But then again, if you gave it to me...willingly... that might be a nice law-abidin’
gesture. To Show your regret and all for breakin’ the law.
LITTLE BOY That's ok. I think I'll keep it.
FRIENDLY Listen Punk! I’m asking nice and friendly now give it to me and we’ll fo’get the
whole thing.
LITTLE BOY I can't.
FRIENDLY Then I believe a little coolin’ off time wo
n’t hurt. No it won’t hurt a bit. You punks
are all the same. Tuck in your shirt.
LITTLE BOY I don’t want to go to jail. It doesn’t sound like what I had in mind!
The MINISTER tries to sneak the clock away with the aide of her deacons (3 Damned). The
clock gets tossed around behind the Officer’s back.
FRIENDLY What you had in mind? Here boy you mind your manners. This place isn’t like
people think it is see. It’s safe clean harmonious full of beauty. Hell’s got order, peace love
and duty. Without me it’s chaos. The hippie
s, the punks, the liberals, the bad book thumpers
,
they'd take over.
LITTLE BOY
Hey, listen Officer, guess that I'm caught
but you're tryin' to make me somethin' I'm not
FRIENDLY
Boy
you don't get the picture
Hell ain't a place you can ask why or which are
good or bad,
we're just glad
that unlike you boy we got one thing--
That's DUTY!
(Friendly catches the clock)
MINISTER Well, Sir, I think your duty is to give me that damned clock!
FRIENDLY
That's it you're outa line.
Nobody talks back like that to the Law .
You're probably on somethin' ain't you?
Yeah, I thought so.
You twisted junkies are all alike.
MINISTER I'm not on anything. Except the high I get from repeating his holy name over and
over and over!
LITTLE BOY What is his name?
The Deacons sneak up and pinch FRIENDLY, who pitches the clock from the shock.
FRIENDLY Ow! That hurts!
Clock gets tossed around again. LITTLE BOY catches it.
MINISTER You cops are all the same!
FRIENDLY
Now Let me tell you somethin
We all got a job to do. . .
We're all workin' on the big puzzle!
There are those of them that mess it up
and those of us who fix it.
That's me boy!