THE DEVIL coughs loudly. THE SIX disappear, revealing The DEVIL
in a cage beside the LITTLE BOY. He is disguised with a hat and
beard, looking like a life-long prisoner. LITTLE BOY wakes up with a
start.)
LITTLE BOY Who are you?
DEVIL Who?
LITTLE BOY You.
DEVIL Me?
LITTLE BOY Yes you.
DEVIL Nobody.
LITTLE BOY Nobody?
DEVIL That’s right. I’m Nobody!
LITTLE BOY You have to be somebody.
DEVIL No I don’t.
LITTLE BOY Nobody’s a nobody.
DEVIL Exactly.
LITTLE BOY What?
DEVIL Nothing.
LITTLE BOY But you’re in jail. You have to be a somebody to do a bad something to go
to jail.
DEVIL Not me.
LITTLE BOY Why not?
DEVIL No reason.
LITTLE BOY Then why are you in jail?
DEVIL Because nobody should go to jail for no reason.
LITTLE BOY You’ve been here a long time, haven’t you?
DEVIL No time at all, actually
. Remember, there is no time here.
LITTLE BOY Oh, yeah. It’s against the law.
DEVIL (
slyly
) Though I must admit, I often wish I had just a little
time
to myself. Don’t
you wish you had just a little...
time
.
LITTLE BOY I do have a little time! (
LITTLE BOY takes out his clock
) That’s why I’m
Little Boy Goes to Hell by Mark Nichols June 5th, 1998
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© Copyright 1998 by Mark Nichols
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in jail.
DEVIL Oh my! It’s been forever since I’ve -- It’s perfect!
LITTLE BOY It’s a very special gift. Listen to it tick!
DEVIL Yes, it is quite a ticker. I wish I had a very special gift to keep me company in
here...
LITTLE BOY Yeah, it's nice. And the best part is it’s magic. When it rings my mom
will come back and I’ll be all better.
DEVIL Is that right?
LITTLE BOY I think it will go off soon, but I can’t tell time, so I don’t know when.
DEVIL Well, I have an idea.
You see, I can tell time, so if you give me your special
gift, I’ll let you know when it’s going to ring.
LITTLE BOY But maybe the magic won’t work if somebody besides me has it.
DEVIL But I’m a nobody, remember?
LITTLE BOY Oh, that’s right! And I’ll never know when it rings if
nobody
has it.
DEVIL Good point.
LITTLE BOY I just want to get out of here and find my way home.
DEVIL Goodness. Down here, there’s only one
way I know to get what you really want.
LITTLE BOY What is it?
DEVIL You need to make a deal with Him.
LITTLE BOY Him?
DEVIL Yes, Him.
LITTLE BOY Who
is
Him?
DEVIL Who’s Him?!
LITTLE BOY Who’s Him?
DEVIL The DEVIL!! Make a deal with the Devil!
LITTLE BOY A deal? What’s that?
DEVIL You know, you give him something he wants and he'll give you what you
want in return.
LITTLE BOY That’s the only way?
DEVIL The only way.
Little Boy Goes to Hell by Mark Nichols June 5th, 1998
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© Copyright 1998 by Mark Nichols
28
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LITTLE BOY Then that’s what I’ll do! I’ll make a deal with the Devil!
DEVIL Excellent! Now get going!
LITTLE BOY But we’re in jail! I can’t just open the door and walk out.
DEVIL Sure you can. There’s the key. Just unlock yourself. It’s easy.
LITTLE BOY gets out and opens door for DEVIL.
LITTLE BOY Wow! Come on!
DEVIL No, you go ahead.
LITTLE BOY But how do I find the Devil?
DEVIL That’s the easy part. Just look
for him, and trust me, he’ll find you.
LITTLE BOY But we can go to the Devil together!
DEVIL Bad idea.
LITTLE BOY He’ll let you free.
DEVIL I don’t think so.
LITTLE BOY But I need your help!
DEVIL Leave me alone!
LITTLE BOY But you could be somebody!
DEVIL I said no!
LITTLE BOY Please!
HERMIT SONG
You can visit here any time,
That would be more than fine
But that's where I draw the line.
like to go
but "no" means "no"
For all . . . for all .. . . for all . . . of . . .
Time.
(As DEVIL sings, he draws his head up through the top of the cage and dances with
it around him like a large dress.)
Sometimes I'd like to sail away,.
In my balloon to Paraguay
do Mardi Gras like Hemingway
but lately I got bills to pay
So I stay inside, I stay inside
My nice new, 30-year
fixed rate, peek-a-boo
Little Boy Goes to Hell by Mark Nichols June 5th, 1998
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© Copyright 1998 by Mark Nichols
29
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No-view house!
Sometimes I'd like to have it all
I ‘d like to climb the Berlin Wall
to tan and watch the visigols
but I can't find a parisol
So I stay inside, I stay inside.
Oh, don't worry boy, it's just the way
the devil wants the rent today
the landlord only has to say
“Hermit you've got Hell to pay,”
And I stay inside, I stay inside. . .
Inside, inside, inside, inside, inside.
If I were outside I would be
the King of everything I see
but I am now where I will be
I’m damned for all eternity,
To wash the windows, take my tea
it's just me, me, me. Me, me, me.
You can visit here any time,
That would be more than fine
But that's where I draw the line.
I'd like to go
but "no" means "no"
For all . . . for all .. . . for all . . . of . . .
Time.
Goodbuy! Until next time....
(DEVIL exits with cage.