Lights go to half as
little boy creeps forward. He whistles the
Happy Guy song.
Lights change. LITTLE BOY walks forward, We
see that he is scared. He hears the
sound of the forest at night, and jumps when he hears an owl hoot. Then a crow
caws. Finally he hears a SINGING SAW pl
aying a haunting melody. A small cottage
appears made of gingerbread. It suddenly moves, propelled by what appear to be
chicken's feet. LITTLE BOY goes to it. He knocks. A woman sticks her head out the
main window. It is MOM as a WITCH.)
MOM Who's there? Who's that outside my house? Oh, my goodness, it's a
child. It's you you’ve come at last?
LITTLE BOY Me?
MOM Yes you...
LITTLE BOY How did you know I was coming? Are you the Devil?
MOM The Devil? I don't think so!
Little Boy Goes to Hell by Mark Nichols June 5th, 1998
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© Copyright 1998 by Mark Nichols
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LITTLE BOY I need to see him.
MOM The Devil! Why would you want to see him?
LITTLE BOY I've got to make a deal to get outa here. See I've got this (he holds up
clock.) And the Devil wants it.
MOM Oh, I see. Well, I know the Devil, why don't you give it to
me and I'll gladly present it to him.
LITTLE BOY That's ok. I better do it myself. If you're not the Devil,
who are you?
MOM Well...it depends on--
LITTLE BOY --Are you a witch?!
MOM A what?
LITTLE BOY A Witch!?
MOM A Witch? Why in hell would you think that? No silly, I’m
not a witch. I'm just a simple mother. I have six hungry children to
take care of. In fact, I bet you'd like to meet them. Why don't I call
them? Boys!
(The SIX DEMONS in black appear with axes and shovels and stuff.
They're wearing black cowboy hats.)
SIX DEMONS Howdy Ma!
(LITTLE BOY gets out his toy gun and
waves it menacingly.)
MOM What's a' matter?
LITTLE BOY Who are they? I'm afraid!
MOM Afraid? What are you afraid of?
LITTLE BOY I don't know, I just am...
MOM Don't you know, Sweetie, that
fear
is all you have to be
afraid of. Because fears can come true...Isn't that right boys?
THE SI X Yeah Ma! Sure is!
CLOWN What’s for dinner MA?
MOM I wish I knew?
FRIENDLY I’m hungry Ma!
PROFESSOR Me too.
MOM You know sons. I think we ought to have this little boy for
dinner! A dinner guest. What do you say?
THE SIX Yee haw, Ma!
Song starts
MOM If we only had something to eat... Oh boys remember the
days when our menu was filled with delicious treats.
THE SIX Mmmm. Do we ever.
Witch’s Song
During the song THE SIX prepare a large stewpot and eventually put
in LITTLE BOY.
THE SIX
There’s a bone in the freezer it’s already been Knawed
plus it’d take to long to get the thing thawed
LITTLE BOY
and I’m gettin’ kind of nervous
wonder how I got here
with six cowboys and a wicked witch
MOM
I’m not a witch it’s just the clothes
the beady eyes the crooked nose
This isn’t me Oh can’t you see
That I’m not a wicked witch at all
but somebody has to take the fall
THE SIX
Oh I long for the days when our stomachs were full
when our guts were stuffed, grub was on the table
LITTLE BOY
What the heck am I doing I’m about to be baked
by some cowboys and a horrible witch
MOM
I’m not a witch It’s just the broom
It follows me around the room
I can’t get rid of it can’t you see THE SIX Ma!
It’s somebody else it isn’t me
I’m not a witch it’s just the spells THE SIX Ma!
coming out of my mouth
along with the smells
of bat wing and lizard legs THE SIX Ma!
and spider poop and rotten eggs
My real breath is minty clean THE SIX Ma!
I’m actually not at all mean.
(Lights rise upstage. PSYCHIATRIST and DEVIL enter playing the
board game on the gurney, accompanied by two nurses. The
PSYCHIATRIST rolls dice to put BOY in cauldron.)
Little Boy Goes to Hell by Mark Nichols June 5th, 1998
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© Copyright 1998 by Mark Nichols
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THE SIX
It’s been such a long time since we ate
Ain’t had no vittles on the plate
Just like Old Ma Hubbard
our Ma does her best
but it’s hard to be a witch
in the wicked wild west
Serve him up
Sure looks good
Pass the salt
It’s been such a long time since we ate
Ain’t had no vittles on the plate
Just like Old Ma Hubbard
our Ma does her best!
Song ends.
LITTLE BOY MOM!! AHH!